Lexi's JellO Revenge
by Lynn Jones
Summary: Lexi warned him...but Ratchet didn't listen...and now...now, he'll pay...because what else is a mechanic suppsoed to do with this much Jell-O?


**Hellooo, readers! I got several requests for a crack fic for Lexi & Co. Here is my attempt. Let me know what you think, please!**

Lexi Bruner frowned to herself as she eyed the various goods for sale at the Jasper grocery store. _Those kids are supposed to be at base all day tomorrow. We'll probably have to feed them. So…healthy things for little children, right? Not. Let's see…chips, hot dogs, a microwave because the bots don't have one that won't cause a nuclear explosion, soda…and there it is! _With a gleeful grin – Ratchet might just blow a gasket when he saw what she'd bought, and what she was going to do with it – Lexi grabbed a few boxes and tossed them into the cart.

_The next day…_

Lexi hummed to herself as she put a large bowl in the fridge. The kids had agreed to her plan. Miko had gotten a truly evil grin, Jack had agreed as long as they didn't do anything to Arcee, and Raf had agreed on the condition that Bumblebee not be involved as well. She had assured them that the joke was solely on Ratchet, and that the grumpy old medic truly deserved it.

She _had _warned him, after all.

Fifteen minutes later, just as she was checking on her surprise, Miko came running into the makeshift kitchen area Lexi had set up several days before.

"The doc bot's asleep!" the girl announced gleefully. Lexi smiled.

"And the boys are occupying the others?" the mechanic checked. Miko nodded eagerly. Lexi smiled to herself. "Then let's get going."

"By the Pit!" Ratchet's bellow caught everyone in the base off guard. Jack, Miko, and Raf glanced at Lexi, who was humming softly to herself as she tinkered with her Malibu's undercarriage. Optimus, who had been keeping an optic on the computer while Ratchet recharged, looked up. Arcee, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee, who had been over in the video game area with the three young humans, exchanged wary looks. "Who is responsible for this?" the medic shouted as he stormed into the main room.

The Autobots nearly glitched. Ratchet didn't actually _storm_ in, because it is very hard for vehicles to _storm._ But the ambulance did a very good impression of storming, even as it carefully rolled in at about a half a mile an hour. But his pace and fury wasn't what made the Autobots start laughing.

No, that was because his alt mode was full of red, green, blue, and yellow Jell-O. Jell-O was coming out his grill, leaking from his undercarriage, and filled his interior. When the medic spoke, it sounded like he was talking through a mouthful of the clear gelatin.

"Ratchet? What is wrong?" Optimus asked.

"What's wrong? What's _wrong?_ I can't remember how to transform, I can't start up my vehicle mode's engine, and I have something slimy in places I don't even want to think about!" he roared. Lexi emerged from underneath her Malibu.

"I warned you about this," she reminded him. The kids – and all the other Autobots – were speechless. The kids were amazed it had worked, and wondering if they shouldn't ask to be taken home about now…and their guardians were caught between laughter, glitching as they tried to figure out what had happened, and running and hiding so Ratchet wouldn't decide to do full check-ups on everyone. Fortunately, his attention was on his human friend right then.

"You warned me about what?" Ratchet growled. Lexi shook her head and smirked.

"I warned you that if you kept information from me again, I would deactivate your hard drive, disconnect your sparkplugs, and fill your air intake with Jell-O," she replied. "And you went and kept information from me again."

"I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU!" he shouted. She shrugged.

"Sure you were. You were totally going to tell me that you wrecked my lift and stepped on – and squished – my spare tire," she drawled. The ambulance seemed to slump a little bit.

"I was…really…" he mumbled. She grinned.

"Uh-huh. Well, now you'll tell me immediately, won't you?" she said pointedly. The ambulance growled.

"And you'll fix what you did to me, won't you?" he countered angrily. She shrugged.

"Eventually," she agreed. "But I really think I should take care of my car first, don't you?" with a dangerous rumble, the ambulance rolled toward the human. She skipped away. "And I'm kind of tired. Maybe I'll take a nap…or play a few video games with the kids…" Ratchet chased her as fast as he could…which was about as fast as she could skip. She strolled along, whistling cheerfully. "I can do this all day, my friend."

"Alexandra…" Optimus began warningly. Lexi frowned at him.

"yes, Optimus? Did you want some Jell-O too?" she asked innocently. If robots could pale he would have.

"N-no, thank you. I was just going to say that…uh…the groundbridge could used to be checked. If Ratchet can't do it, then…"

"I suppose I could do that," the human woman agreed with a smile. "and that takes priority, right?" Ratchet roared wordlessly and tried to move faster. Lexi strolled away toward the groundbridge controls. "don't distract me, ratchet. The groundbridge is very delicate."

**Well, what does everyone think? Please review! Flames will be used to boil more water for MORE JELL-O!**


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